Let the Show Go On!
by JaimynsFire
Summary: *Newly Updated!* Sirius is in a strange Twilight Zone type town, where drag queens are named after him! Enter Remus into the situation!
1. Running

"Just a little bit farther, Beaky!"  
  
I have to urge Buckbeak every extra inch of the way. The poor beast is just as exhausted as I am, if not more. It's only exhilarating to feel ones hair in the wind in the beginning. My hair is nearly a greasy as an oil slick. I hate it when my hair is this way! I have to get to a pond or something! Besides needing a bath, I'm starving!  
  
We spot a small village that looks entirely of Muggles. I thank any deity that might be listening and we land in a forest near by. I transfigure quickly enough that Buckbeak doesn't seem to be bothered by it anymore. I nudge at him with my head and he trots deeper into the woods to ferret for food.  
  
I roll around in the dirt and dead leaves to look even scruffier, if that is at all possible. I trot my way down to the cozy looking village. I see many flyers on the ground for a play about a man named Samson. I tilt my head and read it carefully:  
  
TONIGHT ONLY! SEE THE PLAY ABOUT THE MAN THAT CONQUERED NATIONS!  
  
I felt that this was enough to entertain me, as long as I looked cute enough to earn some grub at this show. In the meantime I went to find some homes to panhandle at. The first door I scratched at opened quickly. A young man of about eight-teen looked around, his shaggy-ish dirty blonde hair falling about his face.  
  
"Who's there? Go' way!" He then looked down and saw that it was only a pathetically hungry looking black dog. He broke into a sad smile and left the door open as he went inside. Talking to me apparently, I heard his voice inside the house.  
  
"Poor thing, you look like a good wind will bowl you over. I think I have some scraps around here somewhere. Hey, I'll call you Scraps, how about that?"  
  
He put a plate full of shredded meat and some bread in front of me, then a huge bowl of water. I looked up at him appreciatively.  
  
"Eat up Scraps, before my mother gets home from work. She's not too keen on your sort."  
  
'Don't I know the feeling, kid?' I thought to myself and lapped up the water gratefully and ate just as quickly. I scratched the back of my ear, until the boy did it for me. In a soft and gentle voice he tried to soothe me.  
  
"I'd keep you. Lord knows I need you, but my mother is very strict." He blew some of that straw like hair out of his eyes. "If you could hide maybe during the afternoons during tea when she's actually at home, I'd feed you and things? Is that all right, Scraps?"  
  
I licked his hand; it was good to be adopted every now and then. At least it meant regular meals. He went inside again shortly after and came out with a brush. He slowly started to work on the tangles in my fur. I couldn't help being content and at ease.  
  
'Snap out of it Sirius! You're on the run!' Blast my mind for reminding me. I got up slowly, licked the boys face and trotted away. I assumed he understood because he didn't call after me. As I padded down the main street of the village I noticed more signs for this show 'Samson'. Many people where waiting in front of a neon pink building, which must have been the theater.  
  
Nice way of getting peoples attention I suppose. I got in line with a man, who looked down at me and snorted.  
  
"You like the shows, eh, Blackie?"  
  
How quaint. What an original name. I padded forward in line. I noticed that all the people in line were more than twenty years of age. Not even a mother holding a baby. By passing this thought I poked my head into the theater entrance. Too busy ripping tickets, the usher didn't notice me slip by.  
  
'Easier than a Dementor with allergies!' I thought to myself. I was very pleased with myself. I hid in the back of the theater, in a dark corner and watched all the people sit in their seats.  
  
I'd never been to a theater show in broad daylight, and not nearly all of the seats were taken either. Sporadic amounts of people sat down, and soon there after the lights dimmed. The audience quieted and a man with long black hair stepped out to announce the cast members. 


	2. Watching the Show

"Now girls, I want to introduce you to Delilah, the seducer of hearts! Played by Miss Lamoure!"  
  
The man on stage hit me as odd straight away; I'd never seen a grown man wear fishnet stockings before. I didn't dare move away from the back of the theater, but I did look around to see that it was filled with the most horrid looking women in the world! There were a few that were standing up screaming in joy. I could tell there was something wrong with them when I sniffed the air.  
  
I tried to find a window nearby that I could climb out of, but they were all boarded up. In fact the theater was painted in odd shades of magenta and black. I whimpered quietly, this was worse than being trapped by the Dementors; I was trapped by the demented!  
  
Miss Lamoure made her grand entrance, she had billowing black locks flowing down her back, and she almost seemed like she was wearing only her under things. I shut my eyes, hoping this would all pass quickly. The "women" around me started cheering hysterically.  
  
The announcer came out and motioned for them all to sit down. "And the star of the show---Mr. Sirius Black!!!"  
  
I did a double take as some muscular looking fellow came out with shoulder length black hair, and glamorous stage makeup (red lips!) came out and started blowing kisses. I could have sworn I heard him being called by my name. I stared in puzzlement, his chalk white face reminded me of pictures I'd seen of Muggle Geisha girls, in a magazine once. His ruby lips were only as jewlesque as his beaming blue eyes.  
  
He was wearing tight (too tight!) leather pants that had slits on the sides of the legs. I looked down, and I saw that the man was wearing stiletto heels! How DARE he call himself Sirius Black and wear HEELS! I had to fight back a lot of anger and rage; then a flash of relief flooded over me. If HIS name was Sirius Black, there must be others. I grinned even broader and let myself get wrapped up in the show before me.  
  
For a story that was supposed to be a Biblical story, there was a lot of hitting and screaming that wasn't exactly related. The audience cheered it all on. I had to stifle a laugh, because laughing as the dog would have been really hard on them. The joy wouldn't last long, unfortunately. The back door flung open quickly. A rush of light filtered in, and many made up faces turned to look at the intruders. I receded deeper into the shadows, afraid that it might just be the Dementors, or even renegade Death- Eaters.  
  
"Get the freaks! Arrest them all!"  
  
A mass of men in black swarmed in and started throwing the screaming "women" on to the floor. Miss Lamoure jumped off the stage in an utter rage. I could now affirm that she was truly a man by how she yelled at the apparent police officer.  
  
"We boarded the windows! We sent out SPECIAL invitations to avoid small children coming in here, just as you ASKED! What the HELL is this all about!"  
  
The officer nodded to a colleague, who then took Miss Lamoure into custody. Roughly he handcuffed her, 'How life imitates art', I thought to myself with a slight snicker. Seeing them all yelling angrily and struggle against their restrains brought back painful memories and I tried to escape stealth fully.  
  
I ran clumsily into an officer that was standing at the door.  
  
"Here he is Captain!" A great oaf held me by the scruff of my neck. His beefy little fingers digging deep into my neck. I growled at him menacingly, but he held out his baton. I quickly got the idea.  
  
The captain came over and inspected me with two very small blue-gray eyes. His mustache twitched under his nose, and he sneezed right onto me.  
  
"Filthy creatures, dogs. Miss Lamoure, I think we found the reason why we are shutting you down. This is CLEARLY against the Health Codes." He nodded vindictively, and she was pulled away outside screaming bloody murder. I struggled under the officers' grasp and swatted at him with my front paws, knocking him over in a surprised daze. Taking advantage of my situation (as always) I pounced on his chest and bared my teeth.  
  
The captain went deathly pale, and no other officer wanted to pull me off. I heard faint smatterings of the words "rabies" and "mad dog" around the theater. I reared off of the helpless man, and ran out of the theater like a mad dog; spitting up foam just to get some Muggles out of my path.  
  
I ran in a random direction away from people. My hind legs became sore, and I hid in a nearby alleyway and transfigured. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to catch my breath. My cover would be useless now. I couldn't possibly go through town as Scraps. I ran it through my mind; I couldn't go around in a robe either without someone suspecting I was one of those cross dressers, either. I couldn't go by my name either. I paced around in the lank alley and tried to come up with a plan. I spied a store across the street called The Lost and Found Antique Clothing Boutique.  
  
In the window there were many mannequins wearing dresses. A visible light bulb went off over my head as I wrote something down on a piece of parchment from my pocket. 


	3. Old Friends to the Rescue

Dear Sir or Madame, My master is an invalid, and is not able to leave his home in the hills nearby. He sent me here to fetch some trousers, and a shirt or two. I have money; it is attached in this note he wrote for me. If you would please, could you wrap up his articles in a brown paper bag with knotted twine? Extra money is included for such expense.  
  
Thank you greatly, Snuffles  
  
It was a masterpiece! The store clerk peered at the note, and clucked his tongue reproachingly, muttered something about damn mountain people and went to fetch some clothes.  
  
"Since your master didn't mention a size, I will assume his illness has emaciated him some." she said as she wrapped them in the paper bag and twine. I nearly hit my forehead, until I realized that would be physically impossible at the time.  
  
She tied the package to my back, and I barked a thank you and trotted off towards the area where I left Beaky. Hiding behind a tree I changed into the muggle trousers and shirt. I always hated buttons on shirts, and I was more than wistful for my old wand so I could charm them.  
  
"Buggerin' buttons!" I growled under my breath, and then something hooted at me indignantly. I blinked up and there was Harry's snowy white owl, Hedwig! I clamored to zip up the trousers, I knew that might become an embarrassing situation if I was caught with that down, and touched her white soft feathers lightly.  
  
"Hey, Hedwig, what are you doing out here?" She glared at me disapprovingly, and sometimes that really creeped me out, but at least she wasn't Rons' owl that I gave him. That owl was seriously in need of some insulin. I smiled and took her message off her leg carefully. Expecting Harry's scrawl when I opened it, I was a bit surprised to see a R.J. Lupin scratched in at the bottom of the note.  
Sirius!  
  
Where the hell are you?! Dumbledore said you were coming here to hide out! I'm going to get a lock on you soon; I charmed this note to let me know when you read it. I'm coming to get you! You'd better not be doing anything, and you KNOW what I mean!  
  
R.J. Lupin  
  
Before I could swear under my breath, there was a POP and then a very pale but jovial looking Remus appeared. He pointed his wand at me menacingly.  
  
"You didn't write me! You could have TRIED, Black! But you didn't! And I sat worrying and waiting!"  
  
I stammered to try and answer him, while backing away from him and his wand. Finally he stopped, and cracked a huge smile and hugged me brotherly again. It felt nice to have him around again, as a friend. I sure needed one, if I was to get out of this place. He blinked at my clothes, and shook his head.  
  
"You are NOT going out like a Muggle, you'll get CAUGHT!"  
  
"I will get caught otherwise! The police here want to put me to sleep, and if I go about in robes, like you, I'll get arrested. Now, I admit I can get out of Azkaban, I can get out of any Muggle jail, but I'm -NOT- getting involved in that! Reeeeeeeemmmmmmuuuuuuuuussss, you're not listening!"  
  
And he wasn't, he was staring at the town with a determined glance. He turned on heel.  
  
"Well let's get to my place, in a hurry!" Remus pulled me back towards Beaky and bowed for the animal. Almost alarmingly quick, Beaky bowed before him as well. He stroked his beak gently and whispered soothingly into his ear.  
  
"Remus, there's a guy, er sorta, in that town. His name is Sirius Black!"  
  
"Oh? How unfortunate for him, then?" A faint rumble of a chuckle passed from my friends' lips. I was faintly pleased.  
  
"He was arrested. I'm gonna go clear my name." I marched back towards the town. For a guy I always saw as fragile, he had a remarkably strong grip and he pulled me back quickly.  
  
"No! It's not -your- name, Sirius! It's his!"  
  
"It's mine, or my mum was lying, and I doubt she was, REMUS." I shook him off easily, and he sighed.  
  
"Then I'm coming with you. Tie your hair back or something."  
  
He pointed his wand at himself and casted glamour over his robe, and was dressed nicely in jeans and a t-shirt.  
  
"Very nice, very casual looking."  
  
"It's what I wear in my off time." He chuckled again and we made our way down to the village, without speaking at all. 


End file.
